I grew up in the Church under a "name it claim it," "fake it until you make it" type of ideology, but I realized that that was keeping a lot of people hurting but just hiding it better. You cannot heal from what you won't acknowledge or are in denial of. It's ok to say "I have depression" AND "I believe God heals." It's ok to say "I am angry" AND "I am blessed." It doesn't have to be either/or. It can be both/and. You can't get right until you get real. We cannot heal from the traumas that we are in denial of. I think many of us have been told "God can't behold sin" or that "sin separates us from God" to the point where we actually believe that God is offended by the messy, explicit, painful, bitter parts of us.
One day while I was out for a run, Holy Spirit began speaking to me, as he often does while I'm out running. Trust me, God had my full attention as a vision played out in front of me as I ran. In this vision, there was a hideous, foul smelling beast....on a chain. The chain was like a heavy version of a tie out for a dog. There was a central spike in the ground and the beast was chained to it. It could only go where the chain would allow it.
This might *seem* like an article about my hair, but it's NOT. I'm here to discuss the prophetic parable of returning to my natural curls through the Curly Girl Method. The gist of Curly Girl Method (which I shall henceforth refer to as CGM) is that you cut out hair products that contain harmful ingredients because those ingredients prohibit the hair from absorbing what your hair really needs. Those particular chemicals create short-term shine because they coat your hair, but that coating blocks what you need for long-term hair health.
All of my kids' birthdays are important to me (I'm an enneagram 7, we celebrate errythang y'all), but my oldest child's birthday (which just passed) holds special significance to me because of the circumstances surrounding his birth. I'm in a storytelling mood today, so buckle up and put on your grown up britches today because I want to share about a time in my life that was a HOT mess. Most people who only know TODAY Amber are shocked at where I came from. I've been asked throughout my ministry to tone it down or to develop a G rated version of my testimony, but I WILL NOT. ***Consider that your trigger warning.***
There is a lot of buzz right now in Christian circles about the topics of mental health, PTSD, codependency, trauma, inner healing, therapy, etc. I feel like in many ways, those topics are intertwined, so it's fitting really that so many people are beginning to talk about them all. In fact, I will likely touch some on each of these topics here in this article. If anything the buzz of these topics was greatly compounded when notable Charismatic Christian leader Todd White spoke out on said topic.
I've been in full time ministry for about 12 years now. I've made a lot of impact for the Kingdom, but I've also made many mistakes along the way. Mistakes are unavoidable, but I believe that what shows excellence in a leader is that we consistently check ourselves on this one thing I'm writing to you about today. Anyone who knows me for longer than 10 minutes knows I love a good metaphor. I mean what's a prophet without metaphors and parables, anyways? We're like the people with the prophetic parables, right?
Working with people (especially Christians), I see that these two extreme types of identity deceptions are prevalent. I see them both very often. The depraved sinner who is hyper-focused on their shortcomings, failures, mistakes, and faults. They're all to eager to tell you what a sinner they are and how they sin everyday and will never get it right. The person who is completely in denial that they have serious issues...like sometimes these issues go way beyond sin cycles and they are deeply troubled, have dangerously addictive behaviors, and some that are even emotionally, spiritually, and even verbally abusive to the people in their life.
I went through a season where I was basically fleeing legalism and oppressive manmade religion. I remember how exhilarating it was to feel those chains fall off as I danced into my newfound truth of what the Bible REALLY said as opposed to what I'd been told by bad doctrine. I was so happy to be free, but I was also really angry. Mostly it was righteous anger, at a system that oppresses God's people and keeps them afraid and addicted to a system of rules instead of intimacy with Holy Spirit. But eventually it went beyond being angry at the system. There came a point when I realized that I deeply resented the people who were holding up that system.
There are so many people out there who have a desire to obey God, they hear a call from God, but then when they step out to obey, it seems like all hell breaks loose and then they're like, "Did I miss God? Am I out of God's will?" You cannot use how good or bad things are going in your life as your determining factor for whether or not you heard God correctly and are in His will. If you do, you'll be all over the place all the time. Sometimes when you're obeying God bad things still happen.
This is a season for the resurrection of things believed to be dead. Because you're reading this, it tells me that certain things are true about your life. There are things, relationships, dreams, and/or hopes that have died. For some of you it's because you gave up hope due to life's circumstances, and for others you felt as if these dreams, hopes/situations were violently murdered. I've lived through both, so I know your pain. I know what it's like to have prayed for something, pleaded with God, and believed with every fiber of my being that God was going to come through and then the devastation when it seemed he didn't.
Follow Up
