The tallest building in the world is 32604 inches high. It was built inch by inch. Carefully crafted together piece by piece. Now that it is finished we don't see it as inch by inch but instead we see it as the tallest building in the world, though what we really see is what happens when you put 32604 inches together one at a time. Have a look at snowflakes, which are one of the weakest things in nature. Yet if you put thousands of them together they are capable of stopping traffic and bringing a whole city to a stand still. These two things on their own are meaningless but string enough of them together and you can see the extraordinary take place.
The moment we think that something begins with us or our religious practice we need to understand that it is very likely that we have become involved within the space of a performance based religion and not a life giving grace based relationship with God. You see life begins in and within God. Forgiveness begins in and within God. Grace begins in and within God. Your true identity begins in and within God. . The Bible is clear about this when for example it tells us in 1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." All good things come from God with no conditions attached. The Bible is clear about this. Take for example the birth of a child or better yet a time of great satisfaction given to a parent by a child.
There was once a ward in a hospital with extremely handicapped people in it. These people were sent there as they were unable to communicate or even function properly in society. They were the product of extreme mental trauma suffered at the hands of others either from childhood or in adulthood. The hospital where the ward was located had tried everything they knew to help these people recover but not much progress was made over the years. The patients were mainly sedated most of the day and lived isolated and lonely lives. One day a new doctor was hired to lead the department.