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Many ask and I am sure even many more wonder what I mean when I say that I long to be raw, real, and uncensored to God and the rest of us. Well before I tackle this let me tell you that the reason I have decided to share this is because I have noticed that there seems to still be this notion and false belief that somehow those of us that write and share our discoveries through books have it altogether and have somehow reached some sort of utopia that only the few and privilege can. Please let me begin by telling you that as far as I am concerned this is not true at all and in fact it is because it is quite the opposite that I am able to share and appreciate what others maybe also struggle with.
I was listening a short while ago at an Evangelist share the Gospel according to his perspective. He spoke for a while and towards the end of his time he started to share about this movie that God is going to show to everyone. He spoke how everyone would get to see all the bad things we did both in public and in private. I must admit that as I listened to him I felt a blanket of shame attempt to cover the whole of my being. So strong was the feeling that it made me shift my position on my seat. As I turned off the TV I began to contemplate what I had just heard. I began to recall how I once long ago subscribed to this very heavenly movie theatre experience and perspective. Yet today what I once vociferously supported, didn't quite sit the right way within me.
The tallest building in the world is 32604 inches high. It was built inch by inch. Carefully crafted together piece by piece. Now that it is finished we don't see it as inch by inch but instead we see it as the tallest building in the world, though what we really see is what happens when you put 32604 inches together one at a time. Have a look at snowflakes, which are one of the weakest things in nature. Yet if you put thousands of them together they are capable of stopping traffic and bringing a whole city to a stand still. These two things on their own are meaningless but string enough of them together and you can see the extraordinary take place.
The moment we think that something begins with us or our religious practice we need to understand that it is very likely that we have become involved within the space of a performance based religion and not a life giving grace based relationship with God. You see life begins in and within God. Forgiveness begins in and within God. Grace begins in and within God. Your true identity begins in and within God. . The Bible is clear about this when for example it tells us in 1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." All good things come from God with no conditions attached. The Bible is clear about this. Take for example the birth of a child or better yet a time of great satisfaction given to a parent by a child.
There was once a ward in a hospital with extremely handicapped people in it. These people were sent there as they were unable to communicate or even function properly in society. They were the product of extreme mental trauma suffered at the hands of others either from childhood or in adulthood. The hospital where the ward was located had tried everything they knew to help these people recover but not much progress was made over the years. The patients were mainly sedated most of the day and lived isolated and lonely lives. One day a new doctor was hired to lead the department.

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