DEADLY UNFORGIVENESS
by Joni Ames

Recent news and images on TV echo to our nation the fact the we need the Word of God and all that it teaches. It remains to be our best manual for life - or as we called it in Sunday School when I was growing up, the B-I-B-L-E contains our "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth."

There have been several events that have been similar in nature, with the shooting in the Amish community in Lancaster, PA, being the most recent. It left us all speechless as we saw a blatant example of our need for Jesus and all He taught, as headlines screamed, "Gunman gets 20 year old revenge."

Regarding these events, many have been asking, "How did this happen?" - And yet the news articles themselves have the answer. Unforgiveness is deadly. The fact of the matter is, the Word of God tells us that unforgiveness can even carry eternal consequences.

Matt 6:15 says: "If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

How can anything be worth that? How can we let something go so far that we would not be concerned about such a result?

Hurt People Hurt People

Sometimes we can be hurt by others in our life. We try to shrug it off, and bury it. Then later in life, it can surface. We shrug it off and bury it again. But all along, the anger grows, like an infected wound with a sliver inside that needs removed in order for healing to take place.

"Hurt people hurt people; Healed people heal people." - Hurting people who don't turn to Jesus and get healed try to hurt others as much as they have been hurt. In a freaky, vicarious, sort of way, they feel that they are "getting back at" those who have hurt them by hurting others. In their minds, they use others as a "stand in" or "substitute" for the one who they really want to hurt for having hurt them.

As we pray the Lord's prayer, we pray, "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive everyone who sins against us." (Luke 11:4) That can be a frightening prayer for those who cannot seem to give forgiveness.

What Does 'Forgive' Mean?

The dictionary defines "forgive" as:

1 (a) to give up resentment of or claim to requital for (b) to grant relief from payment of

2 to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); to PARDON or to EXCUSE

How Can We Forgive?

Forgiveness is a choice. Unforgiveness is a sin. So we must first ask the Lord to forgive us for it. 1 John 1:9 says that: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." So as we get forgiven, we can pass on the forgiveness that Jesus gives to us.

Healing is a process. When we forgive, we are simply choosing to release that person from the consequences of Hell for what they did to us.

In John 20:23 He tells us, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

And in 2 Cor. 2:10 He says: "Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive"

We will likely still have feelings and justified anger to then have to deal with. But as we have released another and cry out to God for help, He will help us to deal with and be healed from the remaining "feelings" about the incident.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean that we place ourselves back into a position to be mistreated by them again. That would not be smart. God gave us a brain to use. You wouldn't place your child back into the care of a molester. Forgiveness releases the perpetrator from Hell as a consequence of their actions, and releases us from eternal judgment for our own sins. However, it doesn't release us from using sound judgment.

In Luke 6:37 Jesus tells us, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

In Matt. 18:23-34 it speaks of a man who was forgiven much by his master, and then went out and treated a servant terribly who owed him. Therefore the master called the man back in and charged him the full price for what he owed. And then verse 35 tells us, "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

It is good to remember that Jesus understands what it is like to be unjustly hurt and to have to forgive the one(s) who did it. The greatest act of forgiveness of all time was done by Jesus, Himself, while on the cross. Jesus took the blame for the sins being done against Him, as well as for the sins of the entire world. He cried out to the Father regarding the very ones who had crucified him in Luke 23:34: "Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

Sometimes we have to forgive "perpetual offenders" - and often they are coworkers or family members. Matthew 18:21-22 tells us that: (21) Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" And (in vs. 22) Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." - As we do so, we are preparing the way for us to receive grace from God when we need it!

PRAYER

Lord, I thank you that Psalm 86:5 says, "For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You." I ask for your forgiveness for my attitude of unforgiveness, and I choose to forgive those who have sinned against me. Please help me to deal with the feelings I have about these things, and to become a victorious, healed person who heals others. In Jesus name, amen.