Print Friendly

We are continuing today on the subject of offense-rooted bitterness. It's essential, because without receiving forgiveness and cleansing, bitterness leads not only to becoming personally rejected, but projecting it onto others also.

I don't think we realize just how easy it is to become offended in a totally honest, yet truly self-righteous way. For example, in the church we are taught about what God requires of His people. Therefore, we are constantly aware of that in our own lives. But without taking what opposes God in our hearts to the Cross of Christ for crucifixion, we (instead) make it about what others need to do. Add to this, that in the world we are continually being inundated with countless stories of (often true) victimization, or stories of people seeking reparations for being treated unfairly: how everyone deserves to get "a pound of flesh" for all that's wrong. From what pill you took to what responsibility you didn't take-- there is an adversarial remedy for literally everything that anyone may have said or done which could be claimed to harm or hinder.

This world is an increasingly angry, about to explode, "living on the edge" place. Explanations for this vary from "the devil's time is short" to 'we're finally going to stop sweeping everything under the rug' (Rev.12:12). The Internet has not helped, because people hide behind domain names, hashtags and faceless (or Facebooked) popularity with seeming anonymity. Much of it is in order to vent callous humor, ridicule, anger, rage, malice and perversion of every type. Just describing it makes me sound as though I am angry, and no doubt some will feel a rise in their blood pressure just by reading this.

During the last 30 years, the Entertainment Media can be argued to have led the way, intentionally seeking to bring more 'reality' to everything from Sitcoms to Cop Shows. The question of "does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?" has accelerated way past "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" into a no holds barred, leave nothing to the imagination, 'in your face,' 'let's expose it all,' 'public's right to know' flagrancy. It's been so 'told' and shown again and again that now the only popular 'art' left is to present the 'star of the show' as an Antihero, Hero: the clearly 'bad guy' who is portrayed in a sympathetic way to get you to buy into the supposedly nebulous 'gray' area of "what IS wrong or right today?"

We have become so accustomed to controversy, infighting, division and open hatred, that instead of being informed by God's Word and the Holy Spirit about how to respond to what takes place around us, we instinctively swallow and follow the bombardment of bad examples paraded in front of us. This, whether shown in the news, on the screens, or over the air. Everything from societal stinkers, the well-meaning yet ignorant, to even (perhaps especially at times) government leaders are featured for us to focus and feast on.  

It's time we woke up to the extent of what Jesus said, and how it applies to us today: "it is impossible but that offenses will come" (Lk.17:1). And when you add to this the admonition we later find in Hebrews, we see just how absolutely essential it is that we face the condition of our heart with sobriety, repenting in whatever way necessary:

"See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;  that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears" (Heb.12:15-17).

The description of the problem can be endless, but the solution is not only Eternal in its availability, but its Power. The only (yet totally sufficient) answer is forgiveness through the Lord Jesus Christ. It is to that end I am writing today, that we get to the root of what causes bitterness: the outstanding need for receiving and then extending true forgiveness- that which is empowered by what Christ gives.

I believe the following guide can be helpful for those with unfinished business in matters of unforgiveness which has led to bitterness. There is much in it, it should not be gobbled quickly. Perhaps it should even be broken down into a separate point per day to receive the best benefit and build a good foundation for rooting out any and every root of bitterness. And then kept for reference and occasional maintenance.

*It may be printed out according to the instructions at the close.

Let's allow God to touch and transform every part of us which hurts and hides us from Him and makes us less than we should be to others! And let's encourage others to obtain their freedom according to the Scriptural admonition.

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. For each one will bear his own load." 

"The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith" (Gal.6:1-10).

Dictionary Information: Definition Bitterness

Thesaurus: Bitterness

Description and Meaning: Bitterness

Bitterness (Bit"ter*ness) (?), n.

[AS. biternys; biter better + -nys = -ness.]

·         The quality or state of being bitter, sharp, or acrid, in either a literal or figurative sense; implacableness; resentfulness; severity; keenness of reproach or sarcasm; deep distress, grief, or vexation of mind. "The lip that curls with bitterness." Percival. "I will complain in the bitterness of my soul." Job vii. 11.

·         A state of extreme impiety or enmity to God. "Thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity." Acts viii. 23.

·         Dangerous error, or schism, tending to draw persons to apostasy. "Looking diligently...lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you." Heb. xii. 15.

1)    Rooting out bitterness

2)    Stages of bitterness

3)    How do you deal with your hurt?

4)    Bitterness produces the sin of unforgiveness.

5)    Scriptural analysis of unforgiveness.

6)    Forgiveness:  To excuse an offense or to pass over a fault without demanding punishment.

7)    What is my part in forgiveness?

8)    How to stay free of unforgiveness.

9)    Verses on (or related to) patience

1) Rooting Out Bitterness

·         The Bible tells us, Hebrews 12:15, Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.

·         The fruits of bitterness are anger, wrath, slander, hate, and malice (or desire to see another suffer).

2) Stages of Bitterness

1.    Oversensitive to a verbal remark, action, or lack of action.

2.    Hurt feelings.

3.    Repulsive feeling toward a person at the thought or sight of him.

4.    Retaining wounds and frequently talking about them.

5.    Alienation of a person.

6.    Verbal slander against the person.

7.    Lack of obedience (ref Mt 5:44,45).

8.    Becoming like the one you despise.

3) How do You Deal with Your Hurt? 

It is not wrong to feel hurt, but how you deal with it makes all the difference in what happens to you!

A.   Characteristics:

1.    A bitter person cares very little for the person he is bitter against.

2.    He is very touchy.

3.    Can be ungrateful.

4.    Gives empty flattery and harsh criticism.

5.    Holds grudges and finds it difficult to forgive.

6.    He displays stubbornness or a sulky attitude.

7.    Will help no one or complains sometimes when asked to help.

8.    Experiences mood extreme highs and lows.

B.   Bitterness keeps getting worse; it hurts not only the holder, but everyone in the way.

1.    Clean out the filing cabinet of your mind.

2.    You are the one hurt most, because of what it does to you spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

4) Bitterness Produces the "Sin" of Unforgiveness

1.    Spiritually: An inability to love God. If we fail to forgive, we break the commandments of loving God and forgiving one another.

2.    Emotionally: Creates an emotional focus toward the one who hurt. This focus results in us becoming just like the one we resent.

5) Scriptural Analysis of Unforgiveness

1.    The Lord's Prayer - Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors (or forgive us just the way we forgive others).

2.    Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

3.     Hinders prayer since it is sin - Isaiah 59:2; 1 Peter 3:7.

4.    Jesus gives us a parable, in Mt 18:21-35: Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?   Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.  Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.  And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.  But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.  The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.  Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.  But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.  And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.  And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.  Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:  Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?  And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.  So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.

5.     Unforgiveness retains the sins of my past, bringing them into my present state; if left untreated, they will affect my future and relationship with others. John 20:23 Whosesoever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whosesoever sins ye retain, they are retained. 

6.    It can cause me to become a stumbling block.  Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.

7.    It will cause me to stray from the Lord and alienates me from the body of Christ.

8.    It causes division in the body of Christ.

a.    It brings about jealousy, envy, and strife.

b.    It is a result of pride.

9.  It gives Satan an advantage in our lives.

a. 2 Corinthians 2:7-11 Teaches us to forgive:  So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.  Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.  For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things.  To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

b. Do not give place to the devil (if you do, you give the devil opportunity to wreck your life).

6)  Forgiveness:  To Excuse an Offense or to Pass Over a Fault Without

     Demanding Punishment. 

1.    Saying, "I forgive, but I won't forget" just means, "I won't forgive."

2.    Forgiveness costs you, because it bears the penalty of the other's sin against you.

3.    Forgiveness is an activity of the will. We cannot wait for a feeling before we forgive.

4.    Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you back if you hurt me.

5.    It is quiet and does not make known to others - ref Proverbs 25:9.

6.    When we forgive, we do not bring it up again-ref Isa 43:25; Ps 103:12.

    * Forgiveness draws out the sting of the bee.

    * Discover the economy of pardon instead of the expense of resentment: forgiveness

      saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, and the waste of a hurt spirit.

7) What is My Part in Forgiveness? 

1.    Even though, at this time, you may be unconscious of any unforgiveness, realize God looks upon your heart. 

a.    Pray Psalm 139:23 Search me O God, and know my heart.  Try and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me (show me any hurtful ways).

b.     Ask God, by the Holy Spirit, to search your heart and reveal hidden hurts or resentments that may be buried.

c.    Confess your sin and ask God to forgive you. You may find it necessary to go to someone to make the forgiveness complete.

2.    Forgiveness will cost you your pride. You must go humbly.

8) How to Stay Free of Unforgiveness

1.    Forsake being worldly.

2.    Ask the Lord to change your way of thinking:

a.    Be slow to take offense.

b.    Refuse hurt feelings.

c.    Pray for anyone who despitefully uses you - ref Matthew 5:44.

3.    Stay in the Word and nourish your spirit by reading and obeying the Word.

4.    Pray.

5.    Take action to forgive; the choice is yours. Do you have unforgiveness toward?

a.    Parents

b.    Yourself

c.    Repressed anger toward God

d.    A former mate (or perhaps his family)

e.    Those in authority over us

f.     Others - friends

6.    Practice the Scripture (be a doer of the Word):

a.    Matthew 5:23-24 - Go to your brother and be reconciled.

b.    Romans 12:19-21- Don't take revenge, but let the Lord do it. Do good to your enemies; thus, heaping coals of shame on their head.

7.    Patience: The capacity of calm endurance, tolerant understanding, forbearance, tolerance of something or someone over a period of time?generally without complaint?though not necessarily without annoyance.

9) Verses on (or Related to) Patience

Psalms 37:7-9

Proverbs 15:18

Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

Lamentations 3:26-27

Luke 8:15; 21:19

Romans 2:7; 8:25; 12:12; 15:4-5

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

2 Corinthians 6:4-6; 12:12

Galatians 6:9

Ephesians 4:1,2

Colossians 1:10-11; 3:12-13

1 Thessalonians 1:3; 5:14

1 Timothy 3:2-3; 6:11

2 Timothy 2:24

Titus 2:2

Hebrews 6:12,15; 10:36; 12:1

James 1:3-4; 19; 5:7,8

1 Peter 2:20

2 Peter 1:5-6

Revelation 1:9; 13:10; 14:12

Isaac: Genesis 26:15-22

Moses: Exodus 16:7-8

Job: Job 1:21; James 5:11

David: Psalm 40:1

Simeon: Luke 2:25

Paul: 2 Timothy 3:10

Prophets: James 5:10

The Thessalonians: 2 Thessalonians 1:4

The Churches at Ephesus and Thyatira: Rev 2:2-3; 2:19

*[Copyright © 2000 bibledesk.com and Gospel Truth Publishing copied with written permission.]

(Document name)  May be copied with the following restrictions: 

It must be reproduced in its entirety and may not be sold or used for profit in any way.

This copyright information must be included.

Bill Click