Being Honest and Helpful Aren't Always the Same by Chase Butler
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&view=post&articleid=178464&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
By Chase Butler
I've had an issue with being passive aggressive for the majority of my life. A few years ago I became aware of it and started making an effort to be more immediate and upfront about expressing my feelings. The problem, though, is I think I have leaned more towards the overtly aggressive side in my efforts. I stuck my foot in my mouth a couple weeks ago and immediately regretted it. We were trying to leave town and couldn't do so until the appraiser was done at our house.
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I've had an issue with being passive aggressive for the majority of my life. A few years ago I became aware of it and started making an effort to be more immediate and upfront about expressing my feelings. The problem, though, is I think I have leaned more towards the overtly aggressive side in my efforts. I stuck my foot in my mouth a couple weeks ago and immediately regretted it.
We were trying to leave town and couldn't do so until the appraiser was done at our house. He was scheduled for 11:00am, so we went to lunch to kill time, anticipating that when we came back he would be gone. You can imagine then how frustrating it was when the appraiser drove up at 12:30pm, as we are loading the car to leave town, fully under the impression he had come and gone.
I'm not a shouting person, and I try to be quick to show grace, but when someone is nonchalant about their mistakes, my tongue becomes sharp and impossible to bite. I said a few things I shouldn't have. It wasn't a tirade of curses and insults, just pointed statements about the situation. I was right, and I was justified in my frustration. And I should have kept my mouth shut.
I'm learning that being right doesn't always give you the right to tell someone else why they're wrong, nor is it always helpful.
Of course, sometimes you need to take a stand, to be for what's right, to speak up about what you believe to be good and true. However, the reality is that my temptation to speak up normally boils to the surface when I'm actually just annoyed or want to complain.
It's a fine line to tread for those of us who have dealt with passive aggressiveness through the years. It's healthy and important to be honest in a constructive way, but it's dangerous to think every opinion is worthy of escaping our lips. Our words are powerful, giving life or taking life, so I want to make sure it really matters before I open my mouth.
Chase Butler
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=234074&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
There seems to be a recurring topic that continues to come up in my life—the balance between contentment and goals. Do I appreciate what I have, and am I working towards something meaningful that forces me to grow? An either/or approach never works. On one hand, you lend yourself to apathy and stagnation. On the other, you live under the tyranny of nothing ever being enough, endless striving that costs you something you never intended. I don't pretend to have this figured out. Every once in a while, I sense the alignment between the two within myself, but it's normally a fleeting moment followed by the pendulum tipping back towards one side.
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There are moments when I long for an answer, clarity, inspiration, relief, or hope and receive nothing. Even in earnest seeking, eager anticipation, a proper posture, an open heart, a willing spirit—nothing. Then there are moments when I receive an answer, clarity, inspiration, relief, and hope when I least expect it. Not seeking, not anticipating, yet a glimpse is given. So what to conclude?
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=231499&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
If the idea of selling everything and living out of a backpack on the road sounds like a nightmare instead of a grand adventure, this post might not be for you. If challenging the status quo and questioning societal norms in the pursuit of a full and satisfying life sounds intriguing, then let's continue. The beauty of friendship is that conversations tend to draw out aspects of yourself that otherwise would have been left untouched and dormant, or at the very least overlooked or ignored.