You Don't Need to Become Someone Else by Pablo Giacopelli
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&view=post&articleid=You-Dont-Need-to-Become-Someone-Else-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
By Pablo Giacopelli
Last week I asked you a question. What are you not seeing? Now I want to ask you something harder and that is What are you becoming in order to hide it? I am asking as in my experience of working with humans I have come to understand that the moment we can't see something true about our lives, we start building an illusional version of ourselves that will never have to face it. If you can't see your fear of failure, you become the person who never tries anything new. If you can't see your loneliness, you become the person who stays perpetually busy.
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Last week I asked you a question. What are you not seeing?
Now I want to ask you something harder and that is What are you becoming in order to hide it?
I am asking as in my experience of working with humans I have come to understand that the moment we can't see something true about our lives, we start building an illusional version of ourselves that will never have to face it.
If you can't see your fear of failure, you become the person who never tries anything new. If you can't see your loneliness, you become the person who stays perpetually busy. If you can't see your need to belong, you become the person who does everything everyone else wants.
You're not building a better life. You're building an escape pod, and the worst part? You get really, really good at it.
The to-do lists get longer. The achievements stack up. The image becomes polished. Yet, somewhere in all of that productivity and accomplishment, you lose track of something essential.
You lose track of you.
I worked with a woman who had built her entire identity around being the one who had it together. Three kids. Two thriving business. Volunteer work. Fitness routine. She was the person everyone called when they needed something done. One day she sat down and asked herself, "If I stopped doing all of this tomorrow, would I know who I am?"
The silence was deafening.
She realized she had become so skilled at becoming what others needed that she had no idea what she actually wanted. No sense of what felt true to her anymore. She was running a life that looked perfect from the outside but felt completely hollow from within. Sadly, this is what happens when we are attempting to have a relationship with everyone else except ourselves. For her things began to shift the moment she stopped asking "What should I be?" and instead started asking "Who am I actually becoming?"
Self-trust isn't something you build through discipline or achievement. It's something you rebuild by returning to yourself. By paying attention to what feels true in your heart and body, not just what sounds good in your head. By making choices that honor who you actually are, not who you think you should be.
This is the dance I'm talking about.
Pablo Giacopelli
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=When-the-Heart-Takes-the-Lead-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
Here is the great reversal, the truth that changes everything. Your mind tells you that life is about figuring it out, getting as much information and knowledge as possible so you can finally understand and control your experience. Your heart whispers you something entirely different which is that you need to discover what is already within you. The mind shouts stay in control. The heart invites you to trust and release. The mind drives you to build your own salvation plan by trying to get it right every time. The heart shows you that wholeness is already present and you just need to wake up to see it.
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=When-the-Mind-Finally-Exhales-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
I asked her how it felt, this tennis match she'd just played. "It was amazing," she said. "I didn't feel the need to think about what would happen if I lost this point or how I would be three-zero down instead of two-one." This was a player who had spent her entire career imprisoned by her thoughts. Every point was weighed down by calculations about the future, assessments of risk, fears about outcomes. The mind had been running the show, and it was exhausting and incredibly limiting to her potential.
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=Why-The-Illusion-of-Control-is-Draining-You-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
Last week we discovered that the mind cannot process a negative command. This week, we go deeper into why this matters so much. The mind has one primary drive which is to gain control of every situation by categorizing it and placing it into a safe, controllable box. Watch your mind work for just a moment. Notice how it's constantly scanning for threats, planning for contingencies, rehearsing conversations that haven't happened yet, or reviewing ones that already did. It's building scenarios, creating backup plans, and trying to anticipate every possible outcome.
