God can and does work any way He chooses. But God did not create you to need only Him. That may sound dangerous to say, but hear me out. God does not work alone. There are at least three ways in which God is not all you need. I know what it's like to look for validation and fulfillment from other people, trying to please them in order to be OK myself and believing what they said about me. And my life didn't become better until I went to God for what only He can provide. But that's only part of the equation. We get in trouble when we look for things in the wrong place. If you look to people for what only God can give, you'll always be disappointed. But you'll be just as disappointed if you expect God to magically douse you with what He has designed you to get from human relationships.
Whether you're a New Year's resolutions person or not, the science is clear that defining clear goals makes it more likely you will reach them. Have you considered some relationship goals for your marriage for 2020? As one year ends and another begins, I take some time to look at the year that has been, and consider some goals for the New Year. I look at several areas of my life — physical well-being, emotional health, material/financial, ministry strategy and my own spiritual life. I look at what's working and what's not working, and what I want to change in the New Year.
For as long as human beings have tried to survive in a sinful world, they have asked why. The problem of good and evil is perhaps the biggest of all questions, and when you lose a loved one, it becomes intensely personal. How can you reconcile a good God with the badness of what you're experiencing right now? Theologians and philosophers have wrestled with those questions for millennia, and we won't finish that discussion here. But as you go about asking those questions, there are some useful things to know and do that will help you move toward their resolution.
They say you're never supposed to start a story with "The phone rang," but the phone did ring, waking me from an exhausted sleep at 2:00 a.m. My husband's son had stayed with him at the hospital to allow me a few hours at home. Now I heard this voice say, "You need to come to the hospital." And after three hours, I returned home a widow. Nothing can fully prepare you for the experience of grief. Even if your loved one's death was not a complete surprise, your world has shockingly changed forever. Your life, your thoughts, your time, your belongings, your emotions, your daily routine, your faith—suddenly they all feel foreign. It can be difficult to even recognize yourself. What do you do now?
Sickness and disease: Are they simply a fact of life on this miserable, sin-filled, messed-up planet? Is it our own fault? Can we expect healing as a result of faith in Jesus? Even those who haven't previously sought God's intervention often seek out prayer for healing when they or a loved one becomes ill. And yet there's a lot of frustration among believers about this topic. Some seek someone to pray for them every time they face a physical symptom. Prayer can never be wrong; it's always right to seek prayer.
Sometimes even before the honeymoon is over, it seems "the world, the flesh and the devil" are conspiring to destroy your marriage. Contemporary culture seems especially aligned against long-term healthy marriages. So if you want yours to be the exception, you will need to learn to fight for your marriage. Fighting for your marriage is different than fighting your spouse. You and your spouse are both sinners, but seeing your spouse as the enemy will expedite the deterioration of your relationship. Choose to look behind the frustrations and conflict to the true enemy—Satan and his kingdom of darkness.
Jesus and His disciples are in the boat on the Sea of Galilee. The wind and waves are about to take them out. The disciples are in a panic. Jesus stands up and with a word calms the storm. And then He has the audacity to say to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" (Mark 4:40). "Why were you afraid?" We were about to be dead! Didn't you see? No wonder the disciples were astonished. You may be in the same place now. Circumstances and your own mind make it seem as though fear and worry is the only option. You pray, but your head is still afraid and anxious after you pray.
Some traumas are so disrupting that even the strongest person would find it difficult to cope. Life can be difficult, for you and for me. Bad things happen. Your mind, body and soul cannot be completely closed to hurtful things that happen around you or to you. To some degree you are vulnerable, and when you're vulnerable, you're going to get hurt. Sometimes those wounds are temporary. It's as if your soul gets a cold. It hurts somewhat, but with a little time, things heal, and you go on with your life. At other times, the wounds are deep. Some traumas are so disrupting that even the strongest person would find it difficult to cope.