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By Jason Clark
When I was a young girl, I had some visitations from God that were so strong in Him but no one I knew could understand or relate to it, so I never even shared it. That's a big deal for me, because I like to share when I can. (Performing is another matter.)
I used to go to a nearby local park then and swing and sing to God for days and hours, just by myself. I used to go to my church about 8 blocks over and just hang around it, in the presence, in the sanctuary, just me, reading the hymnals and sometimes singing there. (I am not a performance singer either.)
I used to like to go on my home's rooftop in the summer and watch the stars come out and talk to God. I had the "experience" one time of sitting in God's lap feeling so completely loved, like a child cuddling and laughing in His Arms. Sound luxurious but I needed all that for the things that I was going to face in life.
I knew the Voice that could call me, and it would touch my core and my whole being would respond. I met the majestic Presence that scared me and felt like the paint would peel off the walls when I got my calling. I often wondered why I used that expression and upon pondering it, I realized that God controls the Water and when He withdraws it, things curl up and dry out. He controls all life and He can let you know that He does!
Others don't scare or shake me very much at all because I get a witness when the Voice is for me. There is a witness. Such is part of the making of a prophet perhaps, but there is a price you pay too. And there is a great joy when the witness and the gift is shared for the glory of God. But the receiving mostly comes by seeking, when you take that time to get alone with Him.
I remember in my twenties when He started speaking to me about my calling and I so did not get half of what He said. He would speak, and I would respond, and I could tell that I didn't always get it right, but I was (and still am) a prophet in training. Just like the disciples, you have to learn His Personality. It's not an overnight success. You learn.
I went to the prophet schools but they only went so far and then it was a people group thing that was being "managed" and it wasn't always the same Spirit that I knew. They just only went so far, but Bible education is always very valuable. Always. How it is interpreted is another story or lesson for us. Once the message is in you, you move on to the next one, because you will then express it outwardly naturally.
The Real Calling
The real calling (of any kind of ministry) is very personal and very real. Today I ran across some worship that had the glory on it online (YouTube). Just a small church but RICH, RICH in the glory. It's in another state and I am going to try to get there one day, but I felt that presence that I felt as a child of being in His Arms in His Lap - so, so rare. It wasn't connected to a person but to His Presence.
I don't know much about that church except they have some good speakers on occasion. It doesn't have to be big to be of God. I am not even trying to say that is my new "home church" but something was definitely there on their worship.
It was beyond "this world" in its sound. Not popular, just reverent. And if you have never experienced it, I am not trying to make you feel bad, I only can say there is something more and if you feel hungry inside, it can be had.
It may be a connection for me or it may be just a one-time experience for me, but I found a "watering hole." God has them for the seekers. I've been to a lot of big churches, and it was in the Charismatic Outpouring that was in big churches and small where God really did pour out, as hundreds of different denominations gathered together to seek Him, and that is what made it a true wonder!
They ALL gathered to hear and seek, together! It was a move of God and it truly changed society and all the ministers were amazed where He visited. Oh that was a glorious time and that kind of Outpouring is something that can reach many, even millions, like Brownsville Pensacola did or any of the other big outpourings we have had in our nation.
But an experience and a walk are two different things. If you don't get a MESSAGE that sustains you, you will be coming back looking for more, and the meeting may be gone! Experiences and emotions go so far, but if you don't hear "The Message" that carries you forward, your momentum fades out.
It's an assignment with a strong understanding but it's also a Relationship. When you hear that sound of holiness, you know that a price has been paid for seeking, and worship is a reaction, not just your will working something up. He is there, who can help but to worship, work, love and prophesy?
Sometimes it is just the worship leaders that have paid the price, not the church. That's sad but true. Sometimes it is just the intercessors so there are spurts. But it is the TEAM that will sustain it, with those who know who they are and what their places (and assignments) are. It's personal!
A Holy Awe
Knowing how to walk before the Lord is a big deal, not just a "good idea." I remember meetings where they would wait before the Lord to discern the order of the services or meetings. I haven't seen that in a long while!!! Order is good but especially when the Lord can break in on it!
I do know that God has not changed and when we get hungry enough, we will seek Him again. So much of the world is available to us today that have little time for God. We are baited and enticed by so many things!
When we get our rebuke (and rebukes can be blessings!) and when we realize that we NEED HIM again, life will change. It won't be a competition for the platform. When He is there, there is a PRESENCE of holy awe.
There is a lot I still don't understand on some things, but I do know that I will recognize His Voice. In that Charismatic Outpouring that I refer to often, people felt compelled to come into churches, people who often never went or their times were few in maybe one. God will call the lost, and those who ~really~ care about the lost will be there to respond to them. All this, any revivalist will tell you, begins with prayers.
Angels will visit, supernatural manifestations will just happen, not be worked up or hyped up. Just seek His will. (The Bible will tell you what that is.) The gifts in people will become compelling to them and their hunger will be seen. It is the Holy Spirit that makes the Bible make sense to you, and that makes it real, understandable and relatable. In THAT Presence, so many things become understood and it's hard to leave it to do other things!
This is not hype I am talking about, it is a Visitation! We will get some warm ups and then the real Move will come. Many will be touched but if you don't connect with the Assignment of it, you may wash up on the shore, and not be in the boat! It will have been a good ride, but you need the divine "connect."
I write all this to tell you to ask for it, seek for it, believe for it, even when your understanding fails but your spirit yearns. God will reward you for that faith.