But First… Clarity
The thought that comes to mind is a meme often seen on social media that reads, “But first, coffee.” I write it with a smile. I wake up gradually. I need all the help I can get before interacting with the world. The coffee, the quiet, the gentle rituals—they help ease me into presence.
But before all else, I need clarity.
The Two Questions That Define Us
All joking aside, beneath every morning routine and every breath we take, two core questions reside within us. We instinctively ask them, though the noise of life often distracts us from hearing the answers.
Most demands are loud and urgent. They expect our full attention, allowing little space for stillness. But first things must come first.
We must take time to ask the questions. Asking opens doors to answers. When we pursue them, everything else begins to fall into place.
“Who am I?”
“Why am I here?”
Identity and purpose are intricately woven into our being. They are not things to acquire, but truths to uncover.
The Longing Beneath the Surface
I’ve been on a quest to know my true identity all my life. Most of the time, that search has been subtle, quiet—like a whisper beneath the noise.
It’s not something you obtain once, and then all your troubles disappear. It’s a gradual transformation into your authentic design—not something to achieve, but something to live from.
This design can’t be altered. But it can be discovered, embraced, and expressed to its fullest potential. And everything we need for it is already inside us.
Living by Design
As we journey into that discovery, our inner world begins to change in ways we never imagined. The qualities I lean on now in my sixties—the calm, the clarity, the simplicity—were the very things I longed for in my twenties.
The change didn’t happen overnight. But as we begin to live intentionally by design, we start to move in rhythm with who we truly are.
When the Deep Calls to Deep
Identity is often mistaken for what we do. That was my reality for many years in vocational ministry—years filled with serving, learning, and growing.
I loved what I was doing. It was both challenging and fulfilling. But eventually, I found myself no longer satisfied.
The deep was calling out to the deep within me.
I was frustrated. I needed answers I hadn’t yet dared to seek. And I knew I could no longer stay in the comfort of the known.
Leaping Into Transformation
When we reach that place—when the old no longer fits and the new hasn’t yet arrived—we face a choice.
We step out onto the precipice of a quantum leap. It’s frightening… and exhilarating. It’s time to fly.
The journey is the discovery. It is transformation in motion. The adventure ahead is unscripted, yet it is the only way forward.
Living From the Inside Out
There is but one safe place for the leap: taking it.
To deny the leap is to stifle the life within—life that is longing to be lived from the inside outward.
We are designed to live from the inside out.
Yet somewhere along the way, humanity accepted a different model: living from the outside in. It’s a trap—one that enslaves us to fearful reactions, rather than empowering us to respond with the creativity, grace, and gifting that live inside us.
Limitations are often thoughts and emotions formed in fear. But liberty comes when our minds are restored by love—when we awaken to the truth of who we are by divine design.
Breaking Out of the Box
In ministry, I was allowed to think critically—within certain boundaries. Updating the model, offering fresh insight? That was acceptable. But challenging core constructs or questioning the foundation? That was dangerous.
Truth and grace, however, don’t live within man-made lines.
Eventually, those boundaries became garments that no longer fit. I’d try to move in the way I was designed, and the seams would rip.
Whoops. Did I tear that?
Treasure in the Stillness
I’ve always been a question-asker. But it wasn’t until about twenty years ago that I started asking the right ones—questions that satisfied the deep hunger within.
To deny that hunger would have been disheartening… even catastrophic.
Discovery comes in quiet moments. It arrives in glimpses. It whispers during reflection. And clarity follows—when we have the courage to ask, and the stillness to listen.
These moments are not for convincing others. They are treasures to be held close. I’ve carried some of these truths in my heart long before I understood their depths.
The Sacred Garden of Journaling
I’ve loved journaling for years. Who doesn’t love a new journal—the crisp pages, the fresh scent, the silent invitation for your thoughts to rest?
For most of my professional life, I journaled here and there. But it wasn’t until I was gently guided into a morning rhythm—journaling my inner thoughts, frustrations, questions, and reflections—that journaling became sacred.
Now, my journal is more than paper and pen. It’s the garden where clarity and creativity bloom. It’s where I meet with my Father—where time slows, and I can be fully present.
I didn’t write this to promote journaling, necessarily. What I’m really writing about is solace—and the stillness that makes room for clarity to arise.
The Mirror and the Knowing
“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12, NKJV
This verse came to mind recently, but with a new layer of insight.
Knowing who we are begins with how we see ourselves—clearly, inwardly—before others see it.
When we struggle through and strip away everything contrary to that vision, something shifts. A quiet contentment settles in. And soon, that inward peace begins to express itself outwardly. Others sense it, respond to it, and recognize it.
Not because we told them who we are… but because we became who we are.
The First Thing
This is not a formula. It’s a discovery.
We can’t demand that others understand it. And we don’t need to prove it to ourselves.
Discovery is gentle. It’s persuasive. It’s a glimpse into the person God created before the world began.
We all have our identity to discover in Christ. It’s not a religious thing. It’s a first thing.
I began to dig into my identity in my mid-forties. The Father gently led me—nudging me toward moments of research and reflection. I started by looking up the meanings of my names and nicknames. I sat with those meanings for years before deeper layers were revealed.
I’ve never been disappointed.
And So We Begin…
So, we begin—together—on this journey of discovery.
It’s not about striving. It’s about awakening to what’s already within. It’s about living in harmony with the divine design—seeing, being, and doing everything we already carry inside us.
Thank you for joining me on The Journey. Let’s keep walking it—one moment of clarity at a time.
Bret Wade
