Our words have the power to build up and encourage others. However, they also have the power to tear others down. This is why the writer of Proverbs wrote, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21b). But what does that mean?
The truth is, you will either bear the fruit of encouraging others and enjoying great relationships with them, or you will suffer the consequences of the harsh words you speak. The lesson for those of us who want to enjoy close relationships is to speak life to those we love.
I have seen husbands and wives wreck their marriages because their words were out of control.
I have seen leaders ruin their reputations because of how they speak to their teams.
I have seen ministry leaders—pastors and missionaries—lose their credibility because they can’t control their tongues.
I’m not saying I have this all figured out. Trust me, I have made my fair share of verbal blunders. I’ve had to apologize more times than I can count.
What I am saying is that this is an area of continual growth. We need to submit our words to the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to fill us. Our words must reflect Jesus Christ.
As I’ve been thinking about this, here are three questions to consider about how you use your words:
1. How Do You Handle Your Anger?
Solomon wrote, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control”(Proverbs 29:11). Friends, if we say we follow Jesus, He must be exalted even in how we handle our anger. The man or woman who blows up and loses their temper also loses their credibility.
Remember Moses? God asked him to speak to the rock (Numbers 20:8), and water would pour out. Instead, Moses scolded the people, got angry, and struck the rock in a fit of temper. Even though water gushed out, Moses lost his anointing to enter the Promised Land (Numbers 20:12). The psalmist described this scene in Psalm 106:33, saying, “rash words came from Moses’ lips.”
So, let me ask again: How do you communicate when you’re angry?
2. How Often Do You Complain or Grumble?
The Apostle Paul wrote, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure” (Philippians 2:14). Yet, we often give ourselves a pass when it comes to grumbling and complaining. We feel justified in voicing our frustrations, but Scripture tells us something entirely different.
Next time you’re tempted to complain, try to catch yourself and offer thanksgiving instead. By doing this consistently, we will become more positive people—people that others enjoy engaging with.
3. When Was the Last Time You Affirmed or Blessed Someone with Your Words?
The writer of Proverbs said, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25). Some translations use the phrase “whoever blesses others” instead of “a generous person.” The point is to use your words to refresh others.
Be generous with affirmation and encouragement. I firmly believe that most people in our society are discouraged and thirsty for some kind of blessing. When you bless others, you offer them the love of Christ, and their souls are refreshed—like living water.
Let’s Use Our Words Wisely
Friends, let’s be people who control our anger, stop grumbling, and instead offer life-giving blessings. We want Jesus to be exalted in all we say and do.
Becky Harling
