You Don't Need to Become Someone Else by Pablo Giacopelli
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&view=post&articleid=You-Dont-Need-to-Become-Someone-Else-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
By Pablo Giacopelli
Last week I asked you a question. What are you not seeing? Now I want to ask you something harder and that is What are you becoming in order to hide it? I am asking as in my experience of working with humans I have come to understand that the moment we can't see something true about our lives, we start building an illusional version of ourselves that will never have to face it. If you can't see your fear of failure, you become the person who never tries anything new. If you can't see your loneliness, you become the person who stays perpetually busy.
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Last week I asked you a question. What are you not seeing?
Now I want to ask you something harder and that is What are you becoming in order to hide it?
I am asking as in my experience of working with humans I have come to understand that the moment we can't see something true about our lives, we start building an illusional version of ourselves that will never have to face it.
If you can't see your fear of failure, you become the person who never tries anything new. If you can't see your loneliness, you become the person who stays perpetually busy. If you can't see your need to belong, you become the person who does everything everyone else wants.
You're not building a better life. You're building an escape pod, and the worst part? You get really, really good at it.
The to-do lists get longer. The achievements stack up. The image becomes polished. Yet, somewhere in all of that productivity and accomplishment, you lose track of something essential.
You lose track of you.
I worked with a woman who had built her entire identity around being the one who had it together. Three kids. Two thriving business. Volunteer work. Fitness routine. She was the person everyone called when they needed something done. One day she sat down and asked herself, "If I stopped doing all of this tomorrow, would I know who I am?"
The silence was deafening.
She realized she had become so skilled at becoming what others needed that she had no idea what she actually wanted. No sense of what felt true to her anymore. She was running a life that looked perfect from the outside but felt completely hollow from within. Sadly, this is what happens when we are attempting to have a relationship with everyone else except ourselves. For her things began to shift the moment she stopped asking "What should I be?" and instead started asking "Who am I actually becoming?"
Self-trust isn't something you build through discipline or achievement. It's something you rebuild by returning to yourself. By paying attention to what feels true in your heart and body, not just what sounds good in your head. By making choices that honor who you actually are, not who you think you should be.
This is the dance I'm talking about.
Pablo Giacopelli
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=Inner-Clarity--Perfect-Resolutions-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
Every January, we make the same sacred promise to ourselves. We map out the person we'll become, the habits we'll build, and the version of ourselves we'll finally achieve. We write our resolutions with such hope, such certainty. Yet, by mid-February, most of us find ourselves back where we started. Consider that this is not because we lack willpower, but because we were building, once again, on an unstable and illusional foundation. This is why this year, I want to invite you into something different. Not another list of things to do or become but instead a single, clarifying question: Who am I beneath all the doing?
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=The-Nudge-You-Keep-Dismissing-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
There is a voice that has been speaking to you all year long. You know exactly the one I mean. It is not the voice of your boss or your family or the culture telling you what you should want. It is softer than all of that. It is the voice that waits for you when the world finally lets you be still. The one that whispers, "This is not right for me. I need something different. Pay attention to this." It is the inner nudge you have probably been brushing aside. Most of us are experts at this. We push it away because it asks for something our thinking mind is not prepared to say yes to.
http://www.identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=Avoidance-is-Not-Safety-it-is-SelfAbandonment-by-Pablo-Giacopelli-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
The career you chose because it felt safe. The relationship you stayed in because you were afraid to be on your own. The version of yourself you perform because it's what everyone expects and you believe they love. It all works on paper. But inside, you start to feel hollow. The worst part is that you're not even sure when it happened. When you stopped listening to yourself. When fear, obligation, and other people's voices drowned out your own. This is what avoidance does.
