3 Simple Ways Patience Plays Out in Friendship by Becky Harling

Steve and I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Costa Rica. One cultural norm in Costa Rica is that people are not in a rush. Most people seem pretty relaxed. One evening, there was a little marching band—not like the marching bands in the Rose Bowl parade—just very small. Maybe there were eight people in the band. Behind them, there were at least fifty cars and motorcycles lined up on the narrow road.
3 Simple Ways Patience Plays Out in Friendship by Becky Harling
 
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Steve and I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Costa Rica. One cultural norm in Costa Rica is that people are not in a rush. Most people seem pretty relaxed. One evening, there was a little marching band—not like the marching bands in the Rose Bowl parade—just very small. Maybe there were eight people in the band. Behind them, there were at least fifty cars and motorcycles lined up on the narrow road. Steve and I were watching, and we noticed right away that not one person honked their horn! They all just waited patiently. It was very unlike drivers here in the U.S., where we all seem to be in a rush.
 
As I reflected on a slower lifestyle, I thought of Solomon’s words: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).
 
We live in an impatient culture. People get easily annoyed and angry when things don’t go their way. If you want close friends, you must live counter-culturally and nurture patience. In the famous love chapter that Paul wrote, patience is listed first among the characteristics describing love (1 Corinthians 13:4).
 
3 Simple Ways Patience Plays Out in Friendship:
 
Be intentional about taking the time for a deep friendship to develop.
 
Recognize that close friendships don’t happen overnight. They take time, intentionality, and commitment. Relax and enjoy the process of developing close friends. Don’t stress. Just stay in the friendship and give it time.
 
Choose compassion over criticism.
 
I’ve noticed that the loneliest people are those who find fault with others. The thing is, there are no perfect friends. Every friend brings their messy self to the friendship. Those who enjoy deep friendships have replaced a critical spirit with compassion. Be willing to overlook offenses in your friendships. Let grace flow out of your life.
 
Develop flexibility through changing seasons.
 
In all of our lives, there are seasons when we have more time to spend with friends and seasons when we have less time. There are seasons when we might be maxed out. Learn not to push your friends for more than they can offer. Recognize that there are different seasons in friendship. Instead of pushing for more, ponder how you might offer patience and prayer for your maxed-out friend.
 
Patience is a beautiful quality to offer your friends. Why not try to be intentional about enjoying developing friendships rather than rushing the process? Make choosing compassion over criticism a pattern in your life. And finally, recognize that there are different seasons of friendship. Stretch your flexibility muscles and pray. Then wait and see what God will do.
 
Becky Harling