3 Simple Ways Patience Plays Out in Friendship by Becky Harling
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By Becky Harling
Steve and I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Costa Rica. One cultural norm in Costa Rica is that people are not in a rush. Most people seem pretty relaxed. One evening, there was a little marching band—not like the marching bands in the Rose Bowl parade—just very small. Maybe there were eight people in the band. Behind them, there were at least fifty cars and motorcycles lined up on the narrow road.
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Steve and I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Costa Rica. One cultural norm in Costa Rica is that people are not in a rush. Most people seem pretty relaxed. One evening, there was a little marching band—not like the marching bands in the Rose Bowl parade—just very small. Maybe there were eight people in the band. Behind them, there were at least fifty cars and motorcycles lined up on the narrow road. Steve and I were watching, and we noticed right away that not one person honked their horn! They all just waited patiently. It was very unlike drivers here in the U.S., where we all seem to be in a rush.
As I reflected on a slower lifestyle, I thought of Solomon’s words: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).
We live in an impatient culture. People get easily annoyed and angry when things don’t go their way. If you want close friends, you must live counter-culturally and nurture patience. In the famous love chapter that Paul wrote, patience is listed first among the characteristics describing love (1 Corinthians 13:4).
3 Simple Ways Patience Plays Out in Friendship:
Be intentional about taking the time for a deep friendship to develop.
Recognize that close friendships don’t happen overnight. They take time, intentionality, and commitment. Relax and enjoy the process of developing close friends. Don’t stress. Just stay in the friendship and give it time.
Choose compassion over criticism.
I’ve noticed that the loneliest people are those who find fault with others. The thing is, there are no perfect friends. Every friend brings their messy self to the friendship. Those who enjoy deep friendships have replaced a critical spirit with compassion. Be willing to overlook offenses in your friendships. Let grace flow out of your life.
Develop flexibility through changing seasons.
In all of our lives, there are seasons when we have more time to spend with friends and seasons when we have less time. There are seasons when we might be maxed out. Learn not to push your friends for more than they can offer. Recognize that there are different seasons in friendship. Instead of pushing for more, ponder how you might offer patience and prayer for your maxed-out friend.
Patience is a beautiful quality to offer your friends. Why not try to be intentional about enjoying developing friendships rather than rushing the process? Make choosing compassion over criticism a pattern in your life. And finally, recognize that there are different seasons of friendship. Stretch your flexibility muscles and pray. Then wait and see what God will do.
Becky Harling
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Steve and I have been in Costa Rica for the last week, relaxing and praying into 2026 and what the Lord has for us. Early this morning, I received an encouraging text message from one of my friends. It felt like a wink from God, confirming one area of my calling. As I've been thinking about my dear friend who sent the text, I've also been thinking about the different gifts we might give our friends. Beyond physical gifts—although those are wonderful—there are other gifts that encourage the soul. They offer a sort of life-support system. They refresh and revive the weary soul.
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Have you ever felt unsure about which decision to make? Or perhaps you feel fearful that the decisions you have made weren't the best. You play out the options in your mind, but you feel paralyzed—stuck and unable to move forward. Maybe you've lain in bed at night, concerned about the future. You've played over scenarios in your mind, trying to come up with the perfect solution. Uncertainty is all around us. Although we live in an information-overloaded culture, we're not benefiting. It seems that though there's more advice than ever, we're more uncertain than ever. Instead, we're growing in weariness and overwhelm.
http://identitynetwork.net/apps/articles/default.asp?blogid=0&url=10&view=post&articleid=5-Questions-to-Ask-Before-You-Enter-2026-by-Becky-Harling-&link=1&fldKeywords=&fldAuthor=&fldTopic=0
The week before New Year's Day is a holy week for me personally. I have developed practices over the years to position my heart in the right place before I enter a new chapter of life. Just as I want to give thoughtful attention to closing a chapter well and opening the next one effectively when I'm writing, I also want to do the same in my life journey. One of the practices I have developed is to read through the book of Isaiah. As I read, I listen for God's invitations to me personally. Isaiah is such a great book because it encompasses the entire gospel and God's desires for us as His people.
